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I first heard the term “baby-led weaning” about 20 years ago, which turns out was just a few years after the concept was introduced to the public by a public health/midwife in Britain. Starting infants on solid foods when they could feed themselves didn’t sound as off-the-wall to me as it did to most other folks, but I chose not to include it in my list of standard recommendations at the 4- and 6-month well child visits. If any parent had asked me my opinion I would have told them to give it a try with a few specific cautions about what and how. But, I don’t recall any parents asking me. The ones who knew me well or had read, or at least heard about, my book on picky eating must have already figured out what my answer would be. The parents who didn’t know me may have been afraid I would tell them it was a crazy idea.

Twelve years ago I retired from office practice and hadn’t heard a peep about baby-led weaning until last week when I encountered a story in The New York Times. It appears that while I have been reveling in my post-practice existence, baby-led weaning has become a “thing.” As the author of the article observed: “The concept seems to appeal to millennials who favor parenting philosophies that prioritize child autonomy.”

Dr. William G. Wilkoff practiced primary care pediatrics in Brunswick, Maine, for nearly 40 years.
Dr. William G. Wilkoff

Baby-led weaning’s traction has been so robust that the largest manufacturer of baby food in this country has been labeling some of its products “baby-led friendly since 2021.” There are several online businesses that have tapped into the growing market. One offers a very detailed free directory that lists almost any edible you can imagine with recommendations of when and how they can be presented in a safe and appealing matter to little hand feeders. Of course the company has also figured out a way to monetize the product.

Not surprisingly the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has remained silent on baby-led weaning. However, in The New York Times article, Dr. Mark R. Corkins, chair of the AAP nutrition committee, is quoted as describing baby-led weaning is “a social media–driven invention.”

While I was interested to learn about the concept’s growth and commercialization, I was troubled to find that like co-sleeping, sleep training, and exclusive breastfeeding, baby-led weaning has become one of those angst-producing topics that is torturing new parents who live every day in fear that they “aren’t doing it right.” We pediatricians might deserve a small dose of blame for not vigorously emphasizing that there are numerous ways to skin that cat known as parenting. However, social media websites and Mom chat rooms are probably more responsible for creating an atmosphere in which parents are afraid of being ostracized for the decisions they have made in good faith whether it is about weaning or when to start toilet training.

In isolated cultures, weaning a baby to solids was probably never a topic for discussion or debate. New parents did what their parents did, or more likely a child’s grandmother advised or took over the process herself. The child was fed what the rest of the family ate. If it was something the infant could handle himself you gave it to him. If not you mashed it up or maybe you chewed it for him into a consistency he could manage.

However, most new parents have become so distanced from their own parents’ childrearing practices geographically, temporally, and philosophically, that they must rely on folks like us and others whom they believe are, or at least claim to be, experts. Young adults are no longer hesitant to cross ethnic thresholds when they decide to be co-parents, meaning that any remnant of family tradition is either diluted or lost outright. In the void created by this abandonment of tradition, corporations were happy to step in with easy-to-prepare baby food that lacks in nutritional and dietary variety. Baby-led weaning is just one more logical step in the metamorphosis of our society’s infant feeding patterns.

I still have no problem with baby-led weaning as an option for parents, particularly if with just a click of a mouse they can access safe and healthy advice to make up for generations of grandmotherly experience acquired over hundreds of years. However, I am deeply concerned when baby-led weaning is confused with the all-too-common disaster of child-led family meals.

It is one thing when parents hoping to encourage the process of self-feeding offer their infants an edible that may not be in the family’s usual diet. However, it is a totally different matter when a family allows itself to become dietary contortionists to a accommodate a 4-year-old whose diet consists of a monotonous rotation of three pasta shapes topped with grated Parmesan cheese, and on a good day a raw carrot slice or two. Parents living in this nutritional wasteland may have given up on managing their children’s pickiness, and may find it is less stressful to join the child and eat a few forkfuls of pasta to preserve some semblance of a family dinner. Then after the child has been put to bed they have their own balanced meal.

Almost by definition family meals are a compromise. Even adults without children negotiate often unspoken menu patterns with their partners. “This evening we’ll have your favorite, I may have my favorite next week.”

Most parents of young children understand that their diet may be a bit heavier on pasta than they might prefer and a little less varied when it comes to vegetables. It is just part of the deal. However, when mealtimes become totally dictated by the pickiness of a child there is a problem. While a poorly structured child-led family diet may be nutritionally deficient, the bigger problem is that it is expensive in time and labor, two resources usually in short supply in young families.

Theoretically, infants who have led their own weaning are more likely to have been introduced to a broad variety of flavors and textures and this may carry them into childhood as more adventuresome eaters. Picky eating can be managed successfully and result in a family that can enjoy the psychological and emotional benefits of nutritionally balanced family meals, but it requires a combination of parental courage and patience.

It is unclear exactly how we got into a situation in which a generation of parents makes things more difficult for themselves by favoring practices that overemphasize child autonomy. It may be that the parents had suffered under autocratic parents themselves, or more likely they have read too many novels or watched too many movies and TV shows in which the parents were portrayed as overbearing or controlling. Or, it may simply be that they haven’t had enough exposure to young children to realize that they all benefit from clear limits to a varying degree.

In the process of watching tens of thousands of parents, it has become clear to me that those who are the most successful are leaders and that they lead primarily by example. They have learned to be masters in the art of deception by creating a safe environment with sensible limits while at the same time fostering an atmosphere in which the child sees himself as participating in the process.

The biblical prophet Isaiah (11:6-9) in his description of how things will be different after the Lord acts to help his people predicts: “and a little child shall lead them.” This prediction fits nicely as the last in a string of crazy situations that includes a wolf living with a lamb and a leopard lying down with a calf.

Dr. Wilkoff practiced primary care pediatrics in Brunswick, Maine, for nearly 40 years. He has authored several books on behavioral pediatrics, including “How to Say No to Your Toddler.” Other than a Littman stethoscope he accepted as a first-year medical student in 1966, Dr. Wilkoff reports having nothing to disclose. Email him at pdnews@mdedge.com.

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I first heard the term “baby-led weaning” about 20 years ago, which turns out was just a few years after the concept was introduced to the public by a public health/midwife in Britain. Starting infants on solid foods when they could feed themselves didn’t sound as off-the-wall to me as it did to most other folks, but I chose not to include it in my list of standard recommendations at the 4- and 6-month well child visits. If any parent had asked me my opinion I would have told them to give it a try with a few specific cautions about what and how. But, I don’t recall any parents asking me. The ones who knew me well or had read, or at least heard about, my book on picky eating must have already figured out what my answer would be. The parents who didn’t know me may have been afraid I would tell them it was a crazy idea.

Twelve years ago I retired from office practice and hadn’t heard a peep about baby-led weaning until last week when I encountered a story in The New York Times. It appears that while I have been reveling in my post-practice existence, baby-led weaning has become a “thing.” As the author of the article observed: “The concept seems to appeal to millennials who favor parenting philosophies that prioritize child autonomy.”

Dr. William G. Wilkoff practiced primary care pediatrics in Brunswick, Maine, for nearly 40 years.
Dr. William G. Wilkoff

Baby-led weaning’s traction has been so robust that the largest manufacturer of baby food in this country has been labeling some of its products “baby-led friendly since 2021.” There are several online businesses that have tapped into the growing market. One offers a very detailed free directory that lists almost any edible you can imagine with recommendations of when and how they can be presented in a safe and appealing matter to little hand feeders. Of course the company has also figured out a way to monetize the product.

Not surprisingly the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has remained silent on baby-led weaning. However, in The New York Times article, Dr. Mark R. Corkins, chair of the AAP nutrition committee, is quoted as describing baby-led weaning is “a social media–driven invention.”

While I was interested to learn about the concept’s growth and commercialization, I was troubled to find that like co-sleeping, sleep training, and exclusive breastfeeding, baby-led weaning has become one of those angst-producing topics that is torturing new parents who live every day in fear that they “aren’t doing it right.” We pediatricians might deserve a small dose of blame for not vigorously emphasizing that there are numerous ways to skin that cat known as parenting. However, social media websites and Mom chat rooms are probably more responsible for creating an atmosphere in which parents are afraid of being ostracized for the decisions they have made in good faith whether it is about weaning or when to start toilet training.

In isolated cultures, weaning a baby to solids was probably never a topic for discussion or debate. New parents did what their parents did, or more likely a child’s grandmother advised or took over the process herself. The child was fed what the rest of the family ate. If it was something the infant could handle himself you gave it to him. If not you mashed it up or maybe you chewed it for him into a consistency he could manage.

However, most new parents have become so distanced from their own parents’ childrearing practices geographically, temporally, and philosophically, that they must rely on folks like us and others whom they believe are, or at least claim to be, experts. Young adults are no longer hesitant to cross ethnic thresholds when they decide to be co-parents, meaning that any remnant of family tradition is either diluted or lost outright. In the void created by this abandonment of tradition, corporations were happy to step in with easy-to-prepare baby food that lacks in nutritional and dietary variety. Baby-led weaning is just one more logical step in the metamorphosis of our society’s infant feeding patterns.

I still have no problem with baby-led weaning as an option for parents, particularly if with just a click of a mouse they can access safe and healthy advice to make up for generations of grandmotherly experience acquired over hundreds of years. However, I am deeply concerned when baby-led weaning is confused with the all-too-common disaster of child-led family meals.

It is one thing when parents hoping to encourage the process of self-feeding offer their infants an edible that may not be in the family’s usual diet. However, it is a totally different matter when a family allows itself to become dietary contortionists to a accommodate a 4-year-old whose diet consists of a monotonous rotation of three pasta shapes topped with grated Parmesan cheese, and on a good day a raw carrot slice or two. Parents living in this nutritional wasteland may have given up on managing their children’s pickiness, and may find it is less stressful to join the child and eat a few forkfuls of pasta to preserve some semblance of a family dinner. Then after the child has been put to bed they have their own balanced meal.

Almost by definition family meals are a compromise. Even adults without children negotiate often unspoken menu patterns with their partners. “This evening we’ll have your favorite, I may have my favorite next week.”

Most parents of young children understand that their diet may be a bit heavier on pasta than they might prefer and a little less varied when it comes to vegetables. It is just part of the deal. However, when mealtimes become totally dictated by the pickiness of a child there is a problem. While a poorly structured child-led family diet may be nutritionally deficient, the bigger problem is that it is expensive in time and labor, two resources usually in short supply in young families.

Theoretically, infants who have led their own weaning are more likely to have been introduced to a broad variety of flavors and textures and this may carry them into childhood as more adventuresome eaters. Picky eating can be managed successfully and result in a family that can enjoy the psychological and emotional benefits of nutritionally balanced family meals, but it requires a combination of parental courage and patience.

It is unclear exactly how we got into a situation in which a generation of parents makes things more difficult for themselves by favoring practices that overemphasize child autonomy. It may be that the parents had suffered under autocratic parents themselves, or more likely they have read too many novels or watched too many movies and TV shows in which the parents were portrayed as overbearing or controlling. Or, it may simply be that they haven’t had enough exposure to young children to realize that they all benefit from clear limits to a varying degree.

In the process of watching tens of thousands of parents, it has become clear to me that those who are the most successful are leaders and that they lead primarily by example. They have learned to be masters in the art of deception by creating a safe environment with sensible limits while at the same time fostering an atmosphere in which the child sees himself as participating in the process.

The biblical prophet Isaiah (11:6-9) in his description of how things will be different after the Lord acts to help his people predicts: “and a little child shall lead them.” This prediction fits nicely as the last in a string of crazy situations that includes a wolf living with a lamb and a leopard lying down with a calf.

Dr. Wilkoff practiced primary care pediatrics in Brunswick, Maine, for nearly 40 years. He has authored several books on behavioral pediatrics, including “How to Say No to Your Toddler.” Other than a Littman stethoscope he accepted as a first-year medical student in 1966, Dr. Wilkoff reports having nothing to disclose. Email him at pdnews@mdedge.com.

 

I first heard the term “baby-led weaning” about 20 years ago, which turns out was just a few years after the concept was introduced to the public by a public health/midwife in Britain. Starting infants on solid foods when they could feed themselves didn’t sound as off-the-wall to me as it did to most other folks, but I chose not to include it in my list of standard recommendations at the 4- and 6-month well child visits. If any parent had asked me my opinion I would have told them to give it a try with a few specific cautions about what and how. But, I don’t recall any parents asking me. The ones who knew me well or had read, or at least heard about, my book on picky eating must have already figured out what my answer would be. The parents who didn’t know me may have been afraid I would tell them it was a crazy idea.

Twelve years ago I retired from office practice and hadn’t heard a peep about baby-led weaning until last week when I encountered a story in The New York Times. It appears that while I have been reveling in my post-practice existence, baby-led weaning has become a “thing.” As the author of the article observed: “The concept seems to appeal to millennials who favor parenting philosophies that prioritize child autonomy.”

Dr. William G. Wilkoff practiced primary care pediatrics in Brunswick, Maine, for nearly 40 years.
Dr. William G. Wilkoff

Baby-led weaning’s traction has been so robust that the largest manufacturer of baby food in this country has been labeling some of its products “baby-led friendly since 2021.” There are several online businesses that have tapped into the growing market. One offers a very detailed free directory that lists almost any edible you can imagine with recommendations of when and how they can be presented in a safe and appealing matter to little hand feeders. Of course the company has also figured out a way to monetize the product.

Not surprisingly the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has remained silent on baby-led weaning. However, in The New York Times article, Dr. Mark R. Corkins, chair of the AAP nutrition committee, is quoted as describing baby-led weaning is “a social media–driven invention.”

While I was interested to learn about the concept’s growth and commercialization, I was troubled to find that like co-sleeping, sleep training, and exclusive breastfeeding, baby-led weaning has become one of those angst-producing topics that is torturing new parents who live every day in fear that they “aren’t doing it right.” We pediatricians might deserve a small dose of blame for not vigorously emphasizing that there are numerous ways to skin that cat known as parenting. However, social media websites and Mom chat rooms are probably more responsible for creating an atmosphere in which parents are afraid of being ostracized for the decisions they have made in good faith whether it is about weaning or when to start toilet training.

In isolated cultures, weaning a baby to solids was probably never a topic for discussion or debate. New parents did what their parents did, or more likely a child’s grandmother advised or took over the process herself. The child was fed what the rest of the family ate. If it was something the infant could handle himself you gave it to him. If not you mashed it up or maybe you chewed it for him into a consistency he could manage.

However, most new parents have become so distanced from their own parents’ childrearing practices geographically, temporally, and philosophically, that they must rely on folks like us and others whom they believe are, or at least claim to be, experts. Young adults are no longer hesitant to cross ethnic thresholds when they decide to be co-parents, meaning that any remnant of family tradition is either diluted or lost outright. In the void created by this abandonment of tradition, corporations were happy to step in with easy-to-prepare baby food that lacks in nutritional and dietary variety. Baby-led weaning is just one more logical step in the metamorphosis of our society’s infant feeding patterns.

I still have no problem with baby-led weaning as an option for parents, particularly if with just a click of a mouse they can access safe and healthy advice to make up for generations of grandmotherly experience acquired over hundreds of years. However, I am deeply concerned when baby-led weaning is confused with the all-too-common disaster of child-led family meals.

It is one thing when parents hoping to encourage the process of self-feeding offer their infants an edible that may not be in the family’s usual diet. However, it is a totally different matter when a family allows itself to become dietary contortionists to a accommodate a 4-year-old whose diet consists of a monotonous rotation of three pasta shapes topped with grated Parmesan cheese, and on a good day a raw carrot slice or two. Parents living in this nutritional wasteland may have given up on managing their children’s pickiness, and may find it is less stressful to join the child and eat a few forkfuls of pasta to preserve some semblance of a family dinner. Then after the child has been put to bed they have their own balanced meal.

Almost by definition family meals are a compromise. Even adults without children negotiate often unspoken menu patterns with their partners. “This evening we’ll have your favorite, I may have my favorite next week.”

Most parents of young children understand that their diet may be a bit heavier on pasta than they might prefer and a little less varied when it comes to vegetables. It is just part of the deal. However, when mealtimes become totally dictated by the pickiness of a child there is a problem. While a poorly structured child-led family diet may be nutritionally deficient, the bigger problem is that it is expensive in time and labor, two resources usually in short supply in young families.

Theoretically, infants who have led their own weaning are more likely to have been introduced to a broad variety of flavors and textures and this may carry them into childhood as more adventuresome eaters. Picky eating can be managed successfully and result in a family that can enjoy the psychological and emotional benefits of nutritionally balanced family meals, but it requires a combination of parental courage and patience.

It is unclear exactly how we got into a situation in which a generation of parents makes things more difficult for themselves by favoring practices that overemphasize child autonomy. It may be that the parents had suffered under autocratic parents themselves, or more likely they have read too many novels or watched too many movies and TV shows in which the parents were portrayed as overbearing or controlling. Or, it may simply be that they haven’t had enough exposure to young children to realize that they all benefit from clear limits to a varying degree.

In the process of watching tens of thousands of parents, it has become clear to me that those who are the most successful are leaders and that they lead primarily by example. They have learned to be masters in the art of deception by creating a safe environment with sensible limits while at the same time fostering an atmosphere in which the child sees himself as participating in the process.

The biblical prophet Isaiah (11:6-9) in his description of how things will be different after the Lord acts to help his people predicts: “and a little child shall lead them.” This prediction fits nicely as the last in a string of crazy situations that includes a wolf living with a lamb and a leopard lying down with a calf.

Dr. Wilkoff practiced primary care pediatrics in Brunswick, Maine, for nearly 40 years. He has authored several books on behavioral pediatrics, including “How to Say No to Your Toddler.” Other than a Littman stethoscope he accepted as a first-year medical student in 1966, Dr. Wilkoff reports having nothing to disclose. Email him at pdnews@mdedge.com.

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