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What I wish I knew when I started my internship
In my first year of residency I faced a steep learning curve. I learned a lot about psychiatry, but I learned so much more about myself. If I had known then what I know now, my internship would have been smoother and more enjoyable.
Be organized. Create systems to remember your patients’ information and your to-do list. I have templates of progress notes, psychiatry assessments, mental status assessments, “rounds sheets” (a sheet listing every patient on my floor, including their diagnoses, laboratories, medications, and other notes). Although my system involves lots of paper, I like it. Make a system that works for you. Go out and have fun. I know you are tired, you haven’t slept, and your apartment is a mess, but you won’t remember that time you went home, did laundry, and went to bed early. You will remember the fun night when you and other interns went out and explored the city.
Unplug from medicine. Nothing is more boring than working for 12 hours, only to go out for drinks with coworkers and talk about work. Although you need to vent, life is more than medicine. Find time for something else. Read a book, play a video game, hang out with people who are not doctors. I started a monthly book club with other women around my age. Make some time for something other than your profession.
Reach out to your senior colleagues. I was so concerned about making a good first impression that I didn’t share my concerns with others. I kept my head low because I always blame myself first when something is wrong.
During an off-service rotation, I was unable to finish my shift because I had food poisoning. To make up for that uncompleted shift, the chief from that service gave me 2 extra night shifts. I found the measure extreme, but thought it was my fault for going home early. A few days later, the Psychiatry Chief Resident approached me, after he had seen my schedule and spoke with the other chief because he found the situation unfair. He was reaching out to me saying, “We’ve got your back.” I realized that it wasn’t always my fault, and I could speak up when there was an issue. I was fortunate to have seniors and chiefs who looked out for me. I always found support, good advice, and respect for my feelings.
If you have questions or concerns, are anxious, or feel something is wrong, approach a senior or the chief. They were in your shoes once and will give you their best advice.
Medicine is different in the United States. As an international medica
People understand that you are from another country. At the beginning, I used Google to search for everything, and then I realized that my 2 wonderful students didn’t think less of me because I didn’t know what BKA (below knee amputation) means. Do not be ashamed if you don’t know how things work in a different country. You will find people who are willing to help you; you will learn, and it will be a minor thing a year from now.
Keep your support system. It was 3
If you moved away from home for residency, you are surrounded by new faces and far from the people you are comfortable with. Do not lose touch with them because you never know when you might need them the most. I had a hard road getting to where I am now, and many people helped me. You have to be there for them, too; a text message takes 30 seconds, and an e-mail, 1 minute.
Remember, you need to take care of yourself before taking care of others. No matter how much the MD or DO degree makes you feel like a superhero, you are still human.
In my first year of residency I faced a steep learning curve. I learned a lot about psychiatry, but I learned so much more about myself. If I had known then what I know now, my internship would have been smoother and more enjoyable.
Be organized. Create systems to remember your patients’ information and your to-do list. I have templates of progress notes, psychiatry assessments, mental status assessments, “rounds sheets” (a sheet listing every patient on my floor, including their diagnoses, laboratories, medications, and other notes). Although my system involves lots of paper, I like it. Make a system that works for you. Go out and have fun. I know you are tired, you haven’t slept, and your apartment is a mess, but you won’t remember that time you went home, did laundry, and went to bed early. You will remember the fun night when you and other interns went out and explored the city.
Unplug from medicine. Nothing is more boring than working for 12 hours, only to go out for drinks with coworkers and talk about work. Although you need to vent, life is more than medicine. Find time for something else. Read a book, play a video game, hang out with people who are not doctors. I started a monthly book club with other women around my age. Make some time for something other than your profession.
Reach out to your senior colleagues. I was so concerned about making a good first impression that I didn’t share my concerns with others. I kept my head low because I always blame myself first when something is wrong.
During an off-service rotation, I was unable to finish my shift because I had food poisoning. To make up for that uncompleted shift, the chief from that service gave me 2 extra night shifts. I found the measure extreme, but thought it was my fault for going home early. A few days later, the Psychiatry Chief Resident approached me, after he had seen my schedule and spoke with the other chief because he found the situation unfair. He was reaching out to me saying, “We’ve got your back.” I realized that it wasn’t always my fault, and I could speak up when there was an issue. I was fortunate to have seniors and chiefs who looked out for me. I always found support, good advice, and respect for my feelings.
If you have questions or concerns, are anxious, or feel something is wrong, approach a senior or the chief. They were in your shoes once and will give you their best advice.
Medicine is different in the United States. As an international medica
People understand that you are from another country. At the beginning, I used Google to search for everything, and then I realized that my 2 wonderful students didn’t think less of me because I didn’t know what BKA (below knee amputation) means. Do not be ashamed if you don’t know how things work in a different country. You will find people who are willing to help you; you will learn, and it will be a minor thing a year from now.
Keep your support system. It was 3
If you moved away from home for residency, you are surrounded by new faces and far from the people you are comfortable with. Do not lose touch with them because you never know when you might need them the most. I had a hard road getting to where I am now, and many people helped me. You have to be there for them, too; a text message takes 30 seconds, and an e-mail, 1 minute.
Remember, you need to take care of yourself before taking care of others. No matter how much the MD or DO degree makes you feel like a superhero, you are still human.
In my first year of residency I faced a steep learning curve. I learned a lot about psychiatry, but I learned so much more about myself. If I had known then what I know now, my internship would have been smoother and more enjoyable.
Be organized. Create systems to remember your patients’ information and your to-do list. I have templates of progress notes, psychiatry assessments, mental status assessments, “rounds sheets” (a sheet listing every patient on my floor, including their diagnoses, laboratories, medications, and other notes). Although my system involves lots of paper, I like it. Make a system that works for you. Go out and have fun. I know you are tired, you haven’t slept, and your apartment is a mess, but you won’t remember that time you went home, did laundry, and went to bed early. You will remember the fun night when you and other interns went out and explored the city.
Unplug from medicine. Nothing is more boring than working for 12 hours, only to go out for drinks with coworkers and talk about work. Although you need to vent, life is more than medicine. Find time for something else. Read a book, play a video game, hang out with people who are not doctors. I started a monthly book club with other women around my age. Make some time for something other than your profession.
Reach out to your senior colleagues. I was so concerned about making a good first impression that I didn’t share my concerns with others. I kept my head low because I always blame myself first when something is wrong.
During an off-service rotation, I was unable to finish my shift because I had food poisoning. To make up for that uncompleted shift, the chief from that service gave me 2 extra night shifts. I found the measure extreme, but thought it was my fault for going home early. A few days later, the Psychiatry Chief Resident approached me, after he had seen my schedule and spoke with the other chief because he found the situation unfair. He was reaching out to me saying, “We’ve got your back.” I realized that it wasn’t always my fault, and I could speak up when there was an issue. I was fortunate to have seniors and chiefs who looked out for me. I always found support, good advice, and respect for my feelings.
If you have questions or concerns, are anxious, or feel something is wrong, approach a senior or the chief. They were in your shoes once and will give you their best advice.
Medicine is different in the United States. As an international medica
People understand that you are from another country. At the beginning, I used Google to search for everything, and then I realized that my 2 wonderful students didn’t think less of me because I didn’t know what BKA (below knee amputation) means. Do not be ashamed if you don’t know how things work in a different country. You will find people who are willing to help you; you will learn, and it will be a minor thing a year from now.
Keep your support system. It was 3
If you moved away from home for residency, you are surrounded by new faces and far from the people you are comfortable with. Do not lose touch with them because you never know when you might need them the most. I had a hard road getting to where I am now, and many people helped me. You have to be there for them, too; a text message takes 30 seconds, and an e-mail, 1 minute.
Remember, you need to take care of yourself before taking care of others. No matter how much the MD or DO degree makes you feel like a superhero, you are still human.
After-hours texting and professional boundaries
Recently, I was out on a Friday night with a friend who is a resident in another program. I hadn’t seen her in a very long time because of our hectic schedules. Around 10 p.m., she received a text from her attending asking her if she had left the scripts ready for the patient who was leaving on Monday.
Much has been written about professional boundaries and bosses texting their employees. For most jobs, a boss texting after hours over nonurgent matters is completely out of line. But in the medical field, there are no limits. People say, “Oh well, it’s the physician life.” Well maybe if we had more professional boundaries, our quality of life would be better. Maybe there wouldn’t be such a huge rate of burnout.
I encourage physicians to remember to contact your resident and coworkers during business hours. If the matter is not placing patients in danger, it can wait till the next morning. Nobody wants to pick up his phone in the middle of dinner to deal with patient care–related expectations that can be addressed the next business day.
Receiving a text brings all the stress of work back in the middle of our time off in which we are trying to take care of ourselves and the rest of our lives. It adds unnecessary stress to the overall high stress level and undermines our attempt to have a social life and meet a friend. A quick Internet search shows many blogs, journals, and different websites discussing this issue, but the voices of doctors and other health care providers are strangely silent on this topic.
I consider emails a more professional way of communicating than a text. I check my email often during a 24-hour period, and when I do, I’m ready for any potential information I might receive. I do not get notifications on my phone from my work email. But like my friend, I can’t avoid texts. We should have the opportunity to use our right to disconnect.
Some may argue, “Put your phone on silent if you don’t want to deal with it.” But not only do I use my phone for my life outside of work (as a resident, I make an effort to have one), but I want to be available for my peers and juniors when they are in the hospital. I want to be a resident my coworkers can text when they have a question and appreciate my advice. That is a decision I have made about the type of resident I want to be, and I am comfortable with it. Now if they text me asking a question that can wait till business hours the following day, they are crossing boundaries.
It might seem like a gray line. Somebody – maybe residency programs or our professional organizations – should address this so we have clear guidelines to protect our off-work time. Doesn’t our culture need to change the “physician life” so that we don’t bring our work responsibilities out for dinner on a Friday night? If the issue doesn’t need to be resolved quickly, it should be a given that texting is inappropriate.
Dr. Serrano is a PGY3 psychiatry resident at the Einstein Medical Center in Philadelphia.
Recently, I was out on a Friday night with a friend who is a resident in another program. I hadn’t seen her in a very long time because of our hectic schedules. Around 10 p.m., she received a text from her attending asking her if she had left the scripts ready for the patient who was leaving on Monday.
Much has been written about professional boundaries and bosses texting their employees. For most jobs, a boss texting after hours over nonurgent matters is completely out of line. But in the medical field, there are no limits. People say, “Oh well, it’s the physician life.” Well maybe if we had more professional boundaries, our quality of life would be better. Maybe there wouldn’t be such a huge rate of burnout.
I encourage physicians to remember to contact your resident and coworkers during business hours. If the matter is not placing patients in danger, it can wait till the next morning. Nobody wants to pick up his phone in the middle of dinner to deal with patient care–related expectations that can be addressed the next business day.
Receiving a text brings all the stress of work back in the middle of our time off in which we are trying to take care of ourselves and the rest of our lives. It adds unnecessary stress to the overall high stress level and undermines our attempt to have a social life and meet a friend. A quick Internet search shows many blogs, journals, and different websites discussing this issue, but the voices of doctors and other health care providers are strangely silent on this topic.
I consider emails a more professional way of communicating than a text. I check my email often during a 24-hour period, and when I do, I’m ready for any potential information I might receive. I do not get notifications on my phone from my work email. But like my friend, I can’t avoid texts. We should have the opportunity to use our right to disconnect.
Some may argue, “Put your phone on silent if you don’t want to deal with it.” But not only do I use my phone for my life outside of work (as a resident, I make an effort to have one), but I want to be available for my peers and juniors when they are in the hospital. I want to be a resident my coworkers can text when they have a question and appreciate my advice. That is a decision I have made about the type of resident I want to be, and I am comfortable with it. Now if they text me asking a question that can wait till business hours the following day, they are crossing boundaries.
It might seem like a gray line. Somebody – maybe residency programs or our professional organizations – should address this so we have clear guidelines to protect our off-work time. Doesn’t our culture need to change the “physician life” so that we don’t bring our work responsibilities out for dinner on a Friday night? If the issue doesn’t need to be resolved quickly, it should be a given that texting is inappropriate.
Dr. Serrano is a PGY3 psychiatry resident at the Einstein Medical Center in Philadelphia.
Recently, I was out on a Friday night with a friend who is a resident in another program. I hadn’t seen her in a very long time because of our hectic schedules. Around 10 p.m., she received a text from her attending asking her if she had left the scripts ready for the patient who was leaving on Monday.
Much has been written about professional boundaries and bosses texting their employees. For most jobs, a boss texting after hours over nonurgent matters is completely out of line. But in the medical field, there are no limits. People say, “Oh well, it’s the physician life.” Well maybe if we had more professional boundaries, our quality of life would be better. Maybe there wouldn’t be such a huge rate of burnout.
I encourage physicians to remember to contact your resident and coworkers during business hours. If the matter is not placing patients in danger, it can wait till the next morning. Nobody wants to pick up his phone in the middle of dinner to deal with patient care–related expectations that can be addressed the next business day.
Receiving a text brings all the stress of work back in the middle of our time off in which we are trying to take care of ourselves and the rest of our lives. It adds unnecessary stress to the overall high stress level and undermines our attempt to have a social life and meet a friend. A quick Internet search shows many blogs, journals, and different websites discussing this issue, but the voices of doctors and other health care providers are strangely silent on this topic.
I consider emails a more professional way of communicating than a text. I check my email often during a 24-hour period, and when I do, I’m ready for any potential information I might receive. I do not get notifications on my phone from my work email. But like my friend, I can’t avoid texts. We should have the opportunity to use our right to disconnect.
Some may argue, “Put your phone on silent if you don’t want to deal with it.” But not only do I use my phone for my life outside of work (as a resident, I make an effort to have one), but I want to be available for my peers and juniors when they are in the hospital. I want to be a resident my coworkers can text when they have a question and appreciate my advice. That is a decision I have made about the type of resident I want to be, and I am comfortable with it. Now if they text me asking a question that can wait till business hours the following day, they are crossing boundaries.
It might seem like a gray line. Somebody – maybe residency programs or our professional organizations – should address this so we have clear guidelines to protect our off-work time. Doesn’t our culture need to change the “physician life” so that we don’t bring our work responsibilities out for dinner on a Friday night? If the issue doesn’t need to be resolved quickly, it should be a given that texting is inappropriate.
Dr. Serrano is a PGY3 psychiatry resident at the Einstein Medical Center in Philadelphia.
Racing against burnout
At 6 a.m., after eight admissions back to back, I feel like I can’t stay awake any longer. I desperately need a nap. I have 30 minutes before my next admission, but I know I’m not going to rest. I close my eyes, and I only see charts. I’m trying not to collapse, but I still have three more patients to admit before I go home. And I can’t rest.
I’m scared that I’ll make a mistake. While I write my history of presenting illness, I imagine the day team reading my notes and hoping they don’t notice that I was about to crash on the desk. I check my documentation multiple times to make sure I don’t miss anything, and I know that won’t relieve my anxiety. When I leave, I will still feel the failure of not being able to give my best for my patient or for my night team, because I’m too tired. I know this frustration is going to give room to the emptiness – that indifference of being so beaten up that you can’t feel anymore.
And eventually, shame comes in. I’m ashamed of how I feel, because somehow, it means I am weak. All these feelings threaten to cripple me. Then I get home and cry till I fall asleep.
Recently, I read an article about a young physician contemplating suicide in her first year of practice. She described the dread of going into work and the emptiness left at the end of the day. Halfway through my second year of residency, I could relate to those feelings. I dealt with the anxiety of wondering what type of shift I was going to walk into, and experienced the stress of not wanting to disappoint the team, my peers, the patient, or myself.
Being constantly afraid of making a mistake is tiring. Sometimes, I get the pat on the back from senior physicians, saying I will survive. But it’s not enough. I can’t blame them. It’s human nature to forget how bad it hurt and just remember being strong enough to bear it. I count the days til I have a day off or the weeks til my next vacation. I try not to complain as much because nobody wants to hear it, and nothing is going to change. I feel deeply alone, like nobody cares.
And in the end I put myself onto this path. I knew what I was getting myself into. And I get myself out of it. I hold on to the smiles my staff give me when I walk in. I experience that 10-minute interview with someone whose thought process was so disorganized, and I realize that it took some skill to connect with that patient.
I am heartened by my ability to deescalate a patient who was about to become violent because I know Spanish. I notice that I am able to work faster than I did just a year ago. So I hold on. The trick was to find what made me want to hold on and what motivates me.
I’m not going to write about socializing or finding a hobby outside of medicine. But I must acknowledge that I have a wonderful book club, supportive boyfriend, and family. I lose myself in books, TV shows, cooking. I even started reading comic books. Plenty of articles are out there about how to beat physician burnout. They all help. I tried knitting, coloring, you name it, but for me, those activities were just not enough. I had to try to find meaning behind the work I do. I had to grab all those small moments during a shift and knit them together to build a bridge to where my passion lies. Then I started by reminding myself why I wanted to practice medicine and why psychiatry.
What inspires me is learning how to decipher what hides behind a symptom – why patient A’s anxiety is different from patient B’s. I find psychodynamics fascinating, so I read. I read literature, articles, and books with subjects around my interests. So when I see a patient at 4 a.m. for 5 minutes, I can knit it together with what I read. So it has meaning. And then it’s easier to hold on. Because the 12-hour overnight shift becomes hours of learning about my passion. Because I feel a step closer. And even though last night’s shift was so hard, I’m happy to be back at work today. When I read about the psychopathology of depression and then admit five patients with suicidal ideation, it stops being the same story over and over. It turns into an exploration, and it becomes fascinating. I won’t hear the same story again. So many times, attendings told me to read, and I had to be at my breaking point to understand why it was so essential. Now I’m motivated, and I plan to keep pushing myself to the limit to find a new challenge and to surprise myself in the middle of my beat-up tiredness when I see something in my patient that so many have written about. The adrenaline rush comes on the path of becoming that psychiatrist I aim to be, not in the diploma I will get 2 years from now.
I am racing against burnout, but I’m winning. And I wanted to share my experience to remind others that we are not alone on this path, and we should not have higher suicide rates than other professional groups.
If you are a resident or more experienced physician, know that you are not alone. Many others just like you are stretching themselves thin. Follow the tips of how to beat burnout that you’ve seen around. Find what works for you and dig into yourself, into what drove you in this direction, into where your passion lies. Find the meaning behind this hard work, and connect it to the passion that motivates you. Think of what made you want to become a doctor! I’m not sure it works 100% of the time.
Ask me again in 6 months.
Dr. Serrano is a PGY2 psychiatry resident at the Einstein Medical Center in Philadelphia.
At 6 a.m., after eight admissions back to back, I feel like I can’t stay awake any longer. I desperately need a nap. I have 30 minutes before my next admission, but I know I’m not going to rest. I close my eyes, and I only see charts. I’m trying not to collapse, but I still have three more patients to admit before I go home. And I can’t rest.
I’m scared that I’ll make a mistake. While I write my history of presenting illness, I imagine the day team reading my notes and hoping they don’t notice that I was about to crash on the desk. I check my documentation multiple times to make sure I don’t miss anything, and I know that won’t relieve my anxiety. When I leave, I will still feel the failure of not being able to give my best for my patient or for my night team, because I’m too tired. I know this frustration is going to give room to the emptiness – that indifference of being so beaten up that you can’t feel anymore.
And eventually, shame comes in. I’m ashamed of how I feel, because somehow, it means I am weak. All these feelings threaten to cripple me. Then I get home and cry till I fall asleep.
Recently, I read an article about a young physician contemplating suicide in her first year of practice. She described the dread of going into work and the emptiness left at the end of the day. Halfway through my second year of residency, I could relate to those feelings. I dealt with the anxiety of wondering what type of shift I was going to walk into, and experienced the stress of not wanting to disappoint the team, my peers, the patient, or myself.
Being constantly afraid of making a mistake is tiring. Sometimes, I get the pat on the back from senior physicians, saying I will survive. But it’s not enough. I can’t blame them. It’s human nature to forget how bad it hurt and just remember being strong enough to bear it. I count the days til I have a day off or the weeks til my next vacation. I try not to complain as much because nobody wants to hear it, and nothing is going to change. I feel deeply alone, like nobody cares.
And in the end I put myself onto this path. I knew what I was getting myself into. And I get myself out of it. I hold on to the smiles my staff give me when I walk in. I experience that 10-minute interview with someone whose thought process was so disorganized, and I realize that it took some skill to connect with that patient.
I am heartened by my ability to deescalate a patient who was about to become violent because I know Spanish. I notice that I am able to work faster than I did just a year ago. So I hold on. The trick was to find what made me want to hold on and what motivates me.
I’m not going to write about socializing or finding a hobby outside of medicine. But I must acknowledge that I have a wonderful book club, supportive boyfriend, and family. I lose myself in books, TV shows, cooking. I even started reading comic books. Plenty of articles are out there about how to beat physician burnout. They all help. I tried knitting, coloring, you name it, but for me, those activities were just not enough. I had to try to find meaning behind the work I do. I had to grab all those small moments during a shift and knit them together to build a bridge to where my passion lies. Then I started by reminding myself why I wanted to practice medicine and why psychiatry.
What inspires me is learning how to decipher what hides behind a symptom – why patient A’s anxiety is different from patient B’s. I find psychodynamics fascinating, so I read. I read literature, articles, and books with subjects around my interests. So when I see a patient at 4 a.m. for 5 minutes, I can knit it together with what I read. So it has meaning. And then it’s easier to hold on. Because the 12-hour overnight shift becomes hours of learning about my passion. Because I feel a step closer. And even though last night’s shift was so hard, I’m happy to be back at work today. When I read about the psychopathology of depression and then admit five patients with suicidal ideation, it stops being the same story over and over. It turns into an exploration, and it becomes fascinating. I won’t hear the same story again. So many times, attendings told me to read, and I had to be at my breaking point to understand why it was so essential. Now I’m motivated, and I plan to keep pushing myself to the limit to find a new challenge and to surprise myself in the middle of my beat-up tiredness when I see something in my patient that so many have written about. The adrenaline rush comes on the path of becoming that psychiatrist I aim to be, not in the diploma I will get 2 years from now.
I am racing against burnout, but I’m winning. And I wanted to share my experience to remind others that we are not alone on this path, and we should not have higher suicide rates than other professional groups.
If you are a resident or more experienced physician, know that you are not alone. Many others just like you are stretching themselves thin. Follow the tips of how to beat burnout that you’ve seen around. Find what works for you and dig into yourself, into what drove you in this direction, into where your passion lies. Find the meaning behind this hard work, and connect it to the passion that motivates you. Think of what made you want to become a doctor! I’m not sure it works 100% of the time.
Ask me again in 6 months.
Dr. Serrano is a PGY2 psychiatry resident at the Einstein Medical Center in Philadelphia.
At 6 a.m., after eight admissions back to back, I feel like I can’t stay awake any longer. I desperately need a nap. I have 30 minutes before my next admission, but I know I’m not going to rest. I close my eyes, and I only see charts. I’m trying not to collapse, but I still have three more patients to admit before I go home. And I can’t rest.
I’m scared that I’ll make a mistake. While I write my history of presenting illness, I imagine the day team reading my notes and hoping they don’t notice that I was about to crash on the desk. I check my documentation multiple times to make sure I don’t miss anything, and I know that won’t relieve my anxiety. When I leave, I will still feel the failure of not being able to give my best for my patient or for my night team, because I’m too tired. I know this frustration is going to give room to the emptiness – that indifference of being so beaten up that you can’t feel anymore.
And eventually, shame comes in. I’m ashamed of how I feel, because somehow, it means I am weak. All these feelings threaten to cripple me. Then I get home and cry till I fall asleep.
Recently, I read an article about a young physician contemplating suicide in her first year of practice. She described the dread of going into work and the emptiness left at the end of the day. Halfway through my second year of residency, I could relate to those feelings. I dealt with the anxiety of wondering what type of shift I was going to walk into, and experienced the stress of not wanting to disappoint the team, my peers, the patient, or myself.
Being constantly afraid of making a mistake is tiring. Sometimes, I get the pat on the back from senior physicians, saying I will survive. But it’s not enough. I can’t blame them. It’s human nature to forget how bad it hurt and just remember being strong enough to bear it. I count the days til I have a day off or the weeks til my next vacation. I try not to complain as much because nobody wants to hear it, and nothing is going to change. I feel deeply alone, like nobody cares.
And in the end I put myself onto this path. I knew what I was getting myself into. And I get myself out of it. I hold on to the smiles my staff give me when I walk in. I experience that 10-minute interview with someone whose thought process was so disorganized, and I realize that it took some skill to connect with that patient.
I am heartened by my ability to deescalate a patient who was about to become violent because I know Spanish. I notice that I am able to work faster than I did just a year ago. So I hold on. The trick was to find what made me want to hold on and what motivates me.
I’m not going to write about socializing or finding a hobby outside of medicine. But I must acknowledge that I have a wonderful book club, supportive boyfriend, and family. I lose myself in books, TV shows, cooking. I even started reading comic books. Plenty of articles are out there about how to beat physician burnout. They all help. I tried knitting, coloring, you name it, but for me, those activities were just not enough. I had to try to find meaning behind the work I do. I had to grab all those small moments during a shift and knit them together to build a bridge to where my passion lies. Then I started by reminding myself why I wanted to practice medicine and why psychiatry.
What inspires me is learning how to decipher what hides behind a symptom – why patient A’s anxiety is different from patient B’s. I find psychodynamics fascinating, so I read. I read literature, articles, and books with subjects around my interests. So when I see a patient at 4 a.m. for 5 minutes, I can knit it together with what I read. So it has meaning. And then it’s easier to hold on. Because the 12-hour overnight shift becomes hours of learning about my passion. Because I feel a step closer. And even though last night’s shift was so hard, I’m happy to be back at work today. When I read about the psychopathology of depression and then admit five patients with suicidal ideation, it stops being the same story over and over. It turns into an exploration, and it becomes fascinating. I won’t hear the same story again. So many times, attendings told me to read, and I had to be at my breaking point to understand why it was so essential. Now I’m motivated, and I plan to keep pushing myself to the limit to find a new challenge and to surprise myself in the middle of my beat-up tiredness when I see something in my patient that so many have written about. The adrenaline rush comes on the path of becoming that psychiatrist I aim to be, not in the diploma I will get 2 years from now.
I am racing against burnout, but I’m winning. And I wanted to share my experience to remind others that we are not alone on this path, and we should not have higher suicide rates than other professional groups.
If you are a resident or more experienced physician, know that you are not alone. Many others just like you are stretching themselves thin. Follow the tips of how to beat burnout that you’ve seen around. Find what works for you and dig into yourself, into what drove you in this direction, into where your passion lies. Find the meaning behind this hard work, and connect it to the passion that motivates you. Think of what made you want to become a doctor! I’m not sure it works 100% of the time.
Ask me again in 6 months.
Dr. Serrano is a PGY2 psychiatry resident at the Einstein Medical Center in Philadelphia.
