And We’re Not Going to Take It Anymore!
I just read the very articulate and well-organized editorial on workplace abuse by Marie-Eileen Onieal (Clinician Reviews. 2010;20[12]:cover, 8-10). Bravo to her for having just the right words to use at the right moment.
In the early 1980s, I was working in the hospital, on a surgical floor that received the majority of open-heart patients after they had spent two days in a cardiac surgical care unit. At the time, assertiveness for women, and in particular nurses, was a fairly new concept in the workforce.
There was a particular cardiovascular surgeon who, I was told, was verbally abusive to the nurses in the unit, calling them “bimbos” and other inappropriate words. My first response was: And they take that? I was stunned because this man had never so much as uttered a swearword in my presence. I was told by a colleague, “It’s because you are respectful, but expect the same in return!”
Once I had a patient under this doctor’s care who had removed his nasogastric tube. I examined him and listened for bowel sounds, which were excellent, so I called the surgeon to request that the patient’s tube be left out. Before I even completed the sentence, he interrupted and said, “Tube him!” I asked if I may finish, and the doctor agreed, at which point I told him I had assessed the patient and what his status was. He then said, “Well, I was going to take the tube out later today anyway!” I thought to myself that he likely had never had a nasogastric tube himself or he wouldn’t have been so hasty to have it put back in.
There are good, and not-quite-so good, professionals—but there will always be persons who know the right thing to do in a situation. I’m pleased to hear Dr. Onieal’s account of when she did.
Crystal Thompson, RN, CNS, MSN, Akron, OH
Having been raised in a family that taught mutual respect and courtesy, I respect authority. But I was also taught to stand up for myself. I do not allow myself to be belittled or insulted or disrespected in the workplace. I strive to prevent it from happening to my colleagues as well.
And as I read your article, I kept thinking, “Ohhhh … I’ve met those doctors! I’ve gone toe-to-toe with them.” A few of them have rethought of their behavior, apologizing to their coworkers and “subordinates.” We have tremendous mutual respect for one another and they know what to expect from me at all times.
The incredible staff I work with also knows what to expect from me. They are not afraid to ask questions because I do not get upset, even if it is the third or fourth—or twelfth—time I have been asked the same question. They know I prefer to be asked; mistakes are made when people are afraid to ask.
That being said, your last paragraph grabbed my attention: “Have you ever caught yourself on the verge of being the abuser…?” And I realized: Yes, I have.
It takes a great deal to upset me, so when I am upset, I don’t have to say anything. Fortunately, because I am not known to be angry very often, people take notice. Most give me a very wide berth, but I am so grateful that I have several colleagues who will go aside with me and allow me to vent in total privacy. I am allowed to express my opinion, my anger, frustration, and displeasure to the top of my lungs if need be.
And most often, by being allowed to get the anger out of my system, I am able to let it go and we are able to discuss the situation and how best to handle it in a professional manner—in the open. Having this outlet, this “safety net,” so to speak, for the anger and frustration allows me to relieve workplace stress without ever taking it out on my colleagues, coworkers, and staff. Further, I am able to approach the person who has upset me in a professional manner as well—making resolution of the conflict far more productive.
Thank you for allowing me to share.
Angela H. Perrin, MSN,ARNP-C, Jacksonville, FL
An NP colleague and I lost our positions in an internal medicine clinic due to an abusive physician. While I never suffered his abuse directly, she was publicly and verbally abused by him on several occasions—as were other physicians, clinic administrators, triage nurses, medical assistants, and schedulers. Not surprisingly, he was often also rude and/or dismissive to patients. Indeed, our clinic had lost numerous patients due to this individual.