In July, the United States Senate passed the Kids Online Safety Act, which will need to be taken up and passed by the House prior to becoming law. This bill was designed based on emerging research showing how social media impacts the developing regions of the adolescent brain, including those involved in the growing “stop and think” pathways.
Whether this bill is passed or not, parents are already having conversations with their children’s primary care providers about how to navigate digital versus In Real Life (IRL) aspects of parenting. Why should families and primary care providers care about creating opportunities to put down devices together? We have few new ways of explaining social media’s impact on adolescent development. These angles can empower families and give tweens an increased sense of efficacy around family social media agreements. Dr. Mitch Prinstein (chief science officer for the American Psychological Association) explains how apps take children’s data from other apps to make a profit.1 When kids understand what motivates technology companies, they are more likely to buy into efforts to curtail use. He also explains that adolescent brain size and function decreases with increased social media use and resulting lack of sleep.2
Prioritizing IRL togetherness is increasingly showing up in media itself. In Inside Out 2 the coach collects players’ phones at the beginning of their intensive training weekend, allowing for Riley to have IRL social successes and failures, and resulting growth. Gather, a recently published young adult novel by Kenneth M. Cadow, is written from the perspective of Ian Gray, a teen whose mother struggles with addiction. We experience Ian’s perspective at the house of a friend. This fictional family all put their devices in a basket upon entering their home, allowing the family to interact in a more present and positive way with one another.
Dr. Spottswood
Dr. Margaret Spottswood
Increasingly, social media use is being recognized as a societal, rather than simply an individual problem. Smartphones are being banned in middle schools as there is growing recognition that students cannot learn when they have such easy access to addictive apps. More families are choosing options for the right amount of connectivity for a child’s developmental level by waiting on devices altogether or by purchasing devices without access to social media like flip phones, Gabb phones and watches, using the Bark app, and similar alternatives to fully connected devices.
Parental anxiety plays a role as well. Some of the devices listed above allow for parents to listen in on their child’s device if, for example, the child does not answer the phone. While this may potentially be important if a child requires additional support, for example with a higher-need developmental disability, for those with typical development, it robs children of independence.
What can be done about these huge technology pressures in a 15-minute primary care visit as we await more science to inform laws governing social media’s influence on child development?
Enter the Family Media Agreement. Media agreements for kids have been around for years, and there is growing understanding that when parents follow similar rules to put down devices and be present at home, adolescents are more amenable to follow suit. It’s a communication tool for parents and their growing children to help determine right-sized parameters around device and social media use.
Primary care providers can have paper copies of these available. There are also online options that can be updated as needed. Primary care providers might follow up at the next visit to see how the agreement, and more importantly mixing ideas and communication around the agreement, is working. Providers can explain that these agreements are documents that are expected to be changed with time as family needs evolve. They can help not only set rules but provide an opportunity to practice transferring more autonomy over time, as the child reaches different stages of development. Some frequently used Family Media Agreements are available to print through Common Sense Media,3 or online through the American Academy of Pediatrics’ healthychildren.org website.4
Ultimately, if children call their parents every time they are faced with a problem, rather than looking around for a helpful person or problem solving on their own, they miss a chance to practice developing skills needed as an adult. If an adult listens in on a child’s life rather than waiting to have a conversation, the adult misses out on the opportunity to experience and instill trust that the child can handle adversity and gain age-appropriate independence. Similarly, if kids become too focused on social media “likes” to engage in noticing and being friendly and helpful to those around them, as Dr. Prinstein points out in his workbook for tweens and parents, Like Ability,5 they are not developing the skills needed to build a society where we all have an opportunity to thrive and build what is needed together. In the setting of addictive products capturing everyone’s attention, Family Media Agreements are a concrete place to start these conversations: Clinicians can empower families and growing adolescents to reclaim their time for their own IRL priorities.
Dr. Spottswood is a child psychiatrist practicing in an integrated care clinic at the Community Health Centers of Burlington, Vermont, a Federally Qualified Health Center. She is also the medical director of the Vermont Child Psychiatry Access Program and a clinical assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at the University of Vermont.
References
1. Raffoul A et al. Social media platforms generate billions of dollars in revenue from U.S. youth: Findings from a simulated revenue model. PLoS One. 2023 Dec 27;18(12):e0295337. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0295337.
2. Telzer EH et al. Sleep variability in adolescence is associated with altered brain development. Dev Cogn Neurosci. 2015 Aug:14:16-22. doi: 10.1016/j.dcn.2015.05.007.
3. Common Sense Family Media Agreement. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/featured-content/files/common_sense_family_media_agreement.pdf.
4. Healthy Children Family Media Plan. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/fmp/Pages/MediaPlan.aspx.
5. Getz L, Prinstein M. Like Ability: The Truth About Popularity. Washington: Magination Press, 2022. https://www.apa.org/pubs/magination/like-ability.