“She will eat when she is hungry.” That in so many words is the mantra of grandparents blessed with experience and common sense and of most pediatricians when consulting parents challenged with a picky eater. From birth, children understand the simple equation that to survive they must eat. With rare exception, the motivating power of hunger can be leveraged for success even with infants who have spent their first months relying on enteral feedings. I have written an entire book based solely on the premise that if you present a young child food she will eat it ... eventually (“Coping With a Picky Eater: A Guide for the Perplexed Parent” New York: Simon and Schuster, 1998).
But if we reverse the words to read, “When she is eating, she is hungry,” do we have an equally valid observation? I think we have ample evidence that it is not.
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The result was a year-long odyssey of pumping that included consultations with five different lactation consultants in the first frustrating month and a half. She eventually received some comforting advice from a pediatrician who reassured her that there was little research to guide her and to “just feed him; trust your instincts.”
While it is unfortunately true that there is very little good science we can fall back on when counseling women who are struggling with breastfeeding, I wonder about the wisdom of telling this mother to trust her instincts. I guess my hesitancy is based on 40 years of primary care pediatrics in which I could generally count on the instincts of young children, but their parents’ not so much. While maternal intuition is generally superior to the paternal version, I am hesitant to rely totally on either when facing a clinical dilemma such as defining hunger.
What about the fussy baby who is comforted by just a pacifier? What is the difference? There are several explanations, but it will require introducing the concept of nutrition deficiency.
Most babies who are satisfied with just a nipple, be it silicone or flesh, simply find sucking a comfort measure. A few, and I am sure you have seen some of them, are overly patient. They seem to be saying, “I need the calories, but you’re a good mom and I enjoy sucking. I can wait. Some day, you may make more milk or give me a bottle.” In the worst-case scenarios, their patience leaves these babies so nutritionally deficient that they can slip into apathy and die.
Dr. William G. Wilkoff
There are no easy answers. As pediatricians, our job is to sort out those fussy “hungry” babies whose behavior means they are overtired from those who are nutritionally deficient, from those with a dysfunctional satiety center. Making the differentiation is difficult but much easier than helping parents ignore one of their instincts.
Dr. Wilkoff practiced primary care pediatrics in Brunswick, Maine for nearly 40 years. He has authored several books on behavioral pediatrics, including “How to Say No to Your Toddler.” Email him at pdnews@frontlinemedcom.com.