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To beard or not to beard

RyanJLane/E+

People are funny, and men, who happen to be people, are no exception.

Men, you see, have these things called beards, and there are definitely more men running around with facial hair these days. A lot of women go through a lot of trouble to get rid of a lot of their hair. But men, well, we grow extra hair. Why?

That’s what Honest Amish, a maker of beard-care products, wanted to know. They commissioned OnePoll to conduct a survey of 2,000 Americans, both men and women, to learn all kinds of things about beards.

So what did they find? Facial hair confidence, that’s what. Three-quarters of men said that a beard made them feel more confident than did a bare face, and 73% said that facial hair makes a man more attractive. That number was a bit lower among women, 63% of whom said that facial hair made a man more attractive.

That doesn’t seem very funny, does it? We’re getting there.

Male respondents also were asked what they would do to get the perfect beard: 40% would be willing to spend a night in jail or give up coffee for a year, and 38% would stand in line at the DMV for an entire day. Somewhat less popular responses included giving up sex for a year (22%) – seems like a waste of all that new-found confidence – and shaving their heads (18%).

And that, we don’t mind saying, is a hair-raising conclusion.

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