Understanding the role of psychoneuroimmunology
In another presentation during the Zoom event, Ms. Stauber offered her insights about the importance of support among mental health clinicians.
She cited research on women with HIV showing that those who are part of a support group had a stronger immune response than those who were not.
Ms. Stauber said the impact of COVID-19 and its ramifications – including fear, grief over losing loved ones, isolation from friends and family, and interference/cessation of normal routines – has put an enormous strain on clinicians and clients. One of her clients had to take her mother to the emergency room – never to see her again. She continues to ask: “If I’d been there, could I have saved her?”
Another client whose husband died of COVID-19–related illness agonizes over not being able to be at her husband’s side, not being able to hold his hand, not being able to say goodbye.
She said other cultures are more accepting of suffering as a condition of life and the acknowledgment that our time on earth is limited.
The “quick fix for everything” society carries over to people’s grief, said Ms. Stauber. As a result, many find it difficult to appreciate how much time it takes to heal.
Normal uncomplicated grief can take approximately 2-3 years, she said. By then, the shock has been wearing off, the emotional roller coaster of loss is calming down, coping skills are strengthened, and life can once again be more fulfilling or meaningful. Complicated grief or grief with trauma takes much longer, said Ms. Stauber, who is a consultant with a national crisis and debriefing company providing trauma and bereavement support to Fortune 500 companies.
Trauma adds another complexity to loss. To begin to appreciate the rough road ahead, Ms. Stauber said, it is important to understand the basic challenges facing grieving people.
“This is where our profession may be needed; we are providing support for those suffering the immense pain of loss in a world that often has difficulty being present or patient with loss,” she said. “We are indeed providing an emotional life raft.”
Ultimately, self-care is critical, Ms. Stauber said. “Consider self-care a job requirement” to be successful. She also offered the following tips for self-care:
1. Share your own loss experience with a caring and nonjudgmental person.
2. Consider ongoing supervision and consultation with colleagues who understand the nature of your work.
3. Be willing to ask for help.
4. Be aware of risks and countertransference in our work.
5. Attend workshops.
6. Remember that you do not have to and cannot do it all by yourself – we absolutely need more grief and trauma trained therapists.
7. Involve yourself in activities outside of work that feed your soul and nourish your spirit.
8. Schedule play.
9. Develop a healthy self-care regimen to remain present doing this work.
10. Consider the benefits of exercise.
11. Enjoy the beauty and wonder of nature.
12. Consider yoga, meditation, spa retreats – such as Kripalu, Miraval, and Canyon Ranch.
13. Spend time with loving family and friends.
14. Adopt a pet.
15. Eat healthy foods; get plenty of rest.
16. Walk in the rain.
17. Listen to music.
18. Enjoy a relaxing bubble bath.
19. Sing, dance, and enjoy the blessings of this life.
20. Love yourself; you truly can be your own best friend.
To advocate on behalf of mental health for patients, we must do the same for mental health professionals. The retreat was well received, and we learned a lot from our speakers. After the program, we offered a 45-minute yoga class and then 30-minute sound bowl meditation. We plan to repeat the event in September to help our community deal with the ongoing stress of such overwhelming loss.
While our community will never be the same, we hope that, by coming together, we can all find a way to support one another and strive to help ourselves and others manage as we navigate yet another unprecedented crisis.
Dr. Ritvo, who has more than 30 years’ experience in psychiatry, practices telemedicine. She is author of “BeKindr – The Transformative Power of Kindness” (Hellertown, Pa.: Momosa Publishing, 2018). Dr. Ritvo has no disclosures.