The ‘blue bubble’ – Those who voted for Mrs. Clinton
So … this happened. And, in our consulting rooms, we are seeing a stark increase in the numbers of individuals, couples, and families reporting overwhelming anxiety, sadness, and a sense of de-realization (“it’s surreal”). At the core of their anxiety is concern for self, family, and friends as well as concern for the country as a whole.
The post-election notions that families would be immediately broken up, parents deported, the Affordable Care Act immediately dismantled, and countries bombed immediately after Election Day did not become realities. However, there is valid reason to be concerned. The Southern Poverty Law Center has noted a significant increase in post-election hate crimes throughout the nation.4
The new South ‘red states’ – those who voted for Mr. Trump
Trump supporters are feeling victorious because their “underdog” candidate ran an unconventional presidential campaign and won. However, some who voted for Mr. Trump will at some point experience anxiety when the excitement of “winning” wears off. Psychoanalyst Justin Frank speaks to this and more in his Nov. 9, 2016, blog in which he concludes: “While we mourn and blame others and ourselves for our American tragedy, Trump voters must eventually look at themselves in the mirror and exclaim, ‘what have we done?’ ”5
In his Oct. 25, 2016, New York Times article, Michael Barbaro summarized the behaviors that will become increasingly of concern to all as Mr. Trump accepts the oath of office:
The intense ambitions and undisciplined behaviors of Mr. Trump have confounded even those close to him.... In interviews, Mr. Trump makes clear just how difficult it is for him to imagine – let alone accept – defeat....
“I never had a failure,” Mr. Trump said in one of the interviews, despite his repeated corporate bankruptcies and business setbacks, “because I always turned a failure into a success.”6
This fundamental inability to accept responsibility and the attempt to distort reality is something that must concern each of us, regardless of our ideological differences.
Distress tolerance as a model for healing
Even before the outcome of the election, we were hearing from patients who did not feel safe and who reported being “terrified” about what our country might become. This is where a focus on processing the pain and decreasing anxiety is necessary. This is not an anxiety we can medicate with anxiolytics or rationalize by telling ourselves and our patients that the best man won “fair and square.” We have each – by this time – experienced patients who are quite shaken by this turn of events.
Although it has not received much press, many consider Mr. Trump’s victory to be, in part, a “white backlash.” Many supporters of Mr. Trump have felt too ashamed to publicly admit their support for a candidate who at least by innuendo incited fear, anger, and violence. This failure has created an anxiety reminiscent of the daytime anxiety experienced by people who survived nighttime lynchings in small Southern towns. The day after the lynching, it was not unusual for African American men, women, and children to wonder if their grocer, banker, postal carrier, or sheriff had donned a white hood the night before and lynched someone in their community.
The question of survival, how to survive the unimaginable, is what most distresses people. They’ve wondered out loud whether they, their family, and friends would be attacked and/or killed by those who now feel emboldened and authorized to act on their latent aggressive impulses. And, our patients’ fears are legitimate because, unfortunately, studies show that verbal aggression is correlated with increased risk of physical violence and even murder.7
In the dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) construct developed by Marsha M. Linehan, PhD, the goals of distress tolerance are crisis survival, reality acceptance, and then freedom.8
As we apply our skills, we are uniquely positioned to help our patients and their families survive this crisis, accept that this is our president-elect, and ultimately be free from the anxiety created by the behavior that we all witnessed. We can aid in the navigation through this storm.
Acceptance
We’re already on to reality acceptance. The reality that so many African Americans and people of color have been living is now known and experienced by many who had felt immune to being marginalized. They now understand the loss of security that accompanies overwhelming fear of being the object of verbal, emotional, and physical aggression and violence.
Some are coping by entertaining fantasies that this election outcome will be undone, that the Electoral College will not approve our president-elect when it meets on Dec. 19 or that Mr. Trump will be impeached early in this upcoming term. The results of the presidential election are unlikely to be undone, so having more than 2 months between Election Day and the inauguration to work on acceptance will be helpful. The goal here is to accept the past, be hopeful about the future, and be vigilant in the present.