As health technology and methodology advance, the need for continued learning and scholarly activities has driven many of us to pursue advanced degrees. Many are poised in various states of completion, with as many reasons for being stalled in one stage as there are degree programs. Recently, in a conversation with friends, we reminisced about our “all-but-dissertation” days. While the pain of the process has finally become a mere wince in recollection, the memory of how much support we each received is ever present in our minds.
The common African proverb, “It takes a whole village to raise a child,” is poignantly applicable when a spouse, significant other, or parent ventures into the “terminal degree” vortex. Acknowledgements in the preface of the (finally) finished document are mere prattle compared to the words of encouragement, the editing assistance, daily sounding board, and relief from day-to-day responsibilities that allowed us to chase our dream. Through months of listening to ideas in which fewer than a dozen people in the world have any interest, the vague responses to questions posed, the ninety-dollar technical words, and the necessary absence from family time, a few phrases are hardly sufficient to recognize the sacrifices our families made so we could complete the #$%^&* dissertation.
We have all heard horror stories about the dissertation phase, the dissertation committees, and the frustrations of topic approval, conducting the research, writing the manuscript, and defending the work. What those of us who have survived the process often fail to tell are the stories of who made our success a reality, and how. After the year I spent languishing in the preproposal phase, my spouse and I had a lengthy heart-to-heart conversation about whether I was “in” or “out” of the dissertation; was I going to be “ABD” or “PhD”? That was my reality check. Had I spent too much time with my computer and not with my spouse? Had that much time gone by without my realizing it? I knew I just couldn’t walk away—I had to finish—but how could I do that and maintain our relationship?
There are several guides to assist the “disserter” to finish the blasted doctoral degree: books, Web sites, and support groups. My dissertation buddies and I met monthly. Our motto was “focus to finish.” We listened as each of us gave an update on our progress, or lack thereof. We guided each other through committee selections, topic refinement, and survey development. We cheered each success and consoled each setback.
When the idea for this editorial popped into our conversation, my spouse and I recalled the approach we took to “getting it done.” We searched our computers for the documents that were my guide and provided my daily structure. Alas, they were long gone. Much to our pleasure and laughter, we found a guide1 almost identical to the approach we had put together for me. What this meant was that we had created something that also worked for someone else. The concepts are intuitive and simple, although they require a great deal of discipline from both the “disserter” and, more significantly, the associated person in the disserter’s life.
True to my spouse’s profession, project management processes were established; we first decided on a target date for the proposal, then another for the defense. I sent a schedule for my deliverables and a list of my expectations to each member of my dissertation committee. Once I had received agreement and approval from them on the proposed timelines, I posted the schedule on my computer. I held not only myself to the identified milestones and dates, but also my committee members. When I missed the mark, I advised them; when they didn’t provide feedback within the approved timeline, I presumed they had none. That was the deal we agreed to, and more notably, my project manager was ensuring that I stuck to that deal! —Not so easy when the peace of the household was at stake and a dangling carrot of a trip to a private island in the Caribbean hung in the balance. If I finished on schedule, I was going!
I was privileged to be able to quit my job and have “only” the dissertation be my sole responsibility. I was reminded that the dissertation was not my life’s work, but my current job. I started every day just as though I was going to an office, and I stopped working at the end of that day. Evenings and weekends were time to spend together and to visit with friends and family. Life at home was getting better! Discussions about the dissertation were off limits at those times, and the break often helped restore the energy I needed to maintain my world of project management discipline. More importantly, keeping that time sacrosanct meant that our relationship was not only not lost, but actually improving along the journey.