Seventy-three. That is the average number of questions asked daily by preschool-aged children.
Children ask questions to make sense of their world, to learn how things work, to verify their safety, and to interact with others. As a physician, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, and a father to 6-year-old twin daughters, I too am asking more questions these days. Both professionally and personally, these questions are prompted by shifts in routines, uncertainty, and anxiety brought on by the ongoing coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) pandemic. In parallel, I find myself reflecting on my twin daughters’ questions; their questions reverberate with my own, and with the increased anxiety and fears of my patients and their parents.
With this in mind, I’d like to share 2 questions related to pediatric anxiety that may sculpt our clinical work—whether with children, adolescents, or adults—as we provide treatment and comfort to our patients during this pandemic of anxiety.
How do parents affect children’s anxiety?
First, children take cues from their parents. Almost a half century ago, child and adolescent psychiatrist Robert Emde, MD, and others, using elegantly designed experimental settings, documented that a mother’s response strongly influences her young son or daughter’s emotional reaction to a stranger, or to new situations.1 Specifically, very young children were less afraid and interacted more with a stranger and did so more quickly when their mother had a positive (as opposed to neutral or fearful) reaction to the situation.2 Further, in these studies, when the parent’s face was partially covered, very young children became more fearful. Taken together, these findings remind us that children actively seek to read the affective states of those who care for them, and use these reactions to anchor their responses to shifts in routine, such as those brought on by the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic.
Second, in reacting to the pandemic, parents model emotional regulation—an important skill that children and adolescents must develop as they experience intense affect and anxiety. As mental health clinicians, we know that emotional regulation is an essential component of mental health, and problems with it are a hallmark characteristic of several disorders, including anxiety disorders. Further, neuroimaging studies over the past decade have demonstrated that the way in which the medial prefrontal cortex and lower limbic structures (eg, the amygdala) are connected shifts from early childhood through adolescence and into early adulthood.3 It is likely that these shifts in functional connectivity are shaped by the environment as well as intrinsic aspects of the patient’s biology, and that these shifts subtend the developmental expression of anxiety, particularly in times of stress.
How should we talk to children about the pandemic?
Trust is not only the scaffold of our therapeutic relationships, but also a critical component of our conversations with children about the pandemic. Having established a trusting relationship prior to talking with children about their anxiety and about the pandemic, we will do well to remember that there is often more to a question than the actual direct interrogative. From a developmental standpoint, children may repeatedly ask the same question because they are struggling to understand an abstract concept, or are unable to make the same implicit causal link that we—as adults—have made. Also, children may ask the same question multiple times as a way of seeking reassurance. Finally, when a child asks her father “How many people are going to die?” she may actually be asking whether her parents, grandparents, or friends will be safe and healthy. Thus, as we talk with children, we must remember that they may be implicitly asking for more than a number, date, or mechanism. We must think about the motivation for their questions vis a vis their specific fears and past experiences.
For children, adolescents, and adults, the anxiety created by the pandemic constantly shifts, is hard-to-define, and pervades their lives. This ensuing chronic variable stress can worsen both physical and mental health.4 But, it also creates an opportunity for resiliency which—like the coronavirus—can be contagious.5,6 Knowing this, I’d like to ask 4 questions, based on David Brooks’ recent Op-Ed in the New York Times7:
- Can we become “softer and wiser” as a result of the pandemic?
- How can we inoculate our patients against the loneliness and isolation that worsen most psychiatric disorders?
- How can we “see deeper into [our]selves” to provide comfort to our patients, families, and each other as we confront this viral pandemic of anxiety?
- Following “social distancing,” how do we rekindle “social trust”?