Microaggressions and Migraine Mavens
Dr. Loder: The term microaggression has become very popular, and I think many people find it somewhat irritating. That, to me, is inherent in what a microaggression is. Microaggressions, by definition, are small things. It’s hard to prove that they were rooted in sexism. Sometimes, there’s a large amount of ambiguity about it. It can be as simple as inviting a pregnant woman to sit down because you perceive that she needs to sit, commenting on somebody’s shoes, or things like that.
Often, they’re unintentional. Sometimes, they come from a place of what we might term benevolent sexism, people trying to be helpful to a woman because they perceive that she’s weaker or she might not be able to do something, or maybe she has family responsibilities. They think that they’re being helpful. These things happen when we perceive people to be different in some way, as women are perceived to be different in terms of their responsibilities in the home or different in terms of what we expect from them in the workplace.
The problem with microaggressions is because they’re small, each one of them, I think the temptation is often to say, “Oh you know, they didn’t mean it. It’s not that big a deal. It was just a comment on your shoes.” If a woman brings that up, she’s often made to feel, sometimes by other women, that she should just chill out. This isn’t a big deal.
The problem is that they may not be a big deal in and of themselves, but when they are repeated over a long period of time, they can really sap somebody’s confidence in herself, make her question her own competence, and can have a cumulative effect that is very negative.
Although I think many people are skeptical about microaggressions as an important contribution to how women do in the workplace and in other settings, they are, in my opinion, important. I’ll just emphasize again that they come from everywhere, including other women and colleagues who mean to be helpful.
Dr. LaFaver: I know you have led a team of headache specialists and wrote a fantastic article about navigating sexism at work and what not to say to your female colleagues. Could you share some tips for them to navigate sexism at work and, specifically, as it applies to our careers in medicine.
Dr. Loder: Thank you for calling out that article. It actually grew organically out of a Facebook group that I started called Migraine Mavens. I’ve worked in the headache field throughout my career, and I experienced something that, to me, was kind of discouraging that I felt was sexist within our field. I just thought, What can I do? I thought, Well, maybe there’s some strength to be had in sharing this with other women, and maybe we should have our own social media community, so I formed this group.
After I gave a talk at the American Headache Society about sexism in the headache field, one of the members sent me a message saying, “Your talk was very timely. Immediately after you gave this talk, somebody stopped me in the hall and said, ‘Congratulations on your leadership position in the society, but are you really sure you can do this because you’ve got young children at home?’ Your talk was very needed.”
People started just discussing within the group, “Oh, this happened to me,” “That happened to me.” We began to brainstorm what we could have done differently. When these things happen, people are not necessarily prepared for them, and later on, you lie awake thinking of what you could have said.
We decided to write a paper. It ended up being published in The Journal of Head and Face Pain, and it was based on real vignettes from people in the group. We anonymized them so that people would not recognize themselves necessarily, but they’re all real. They’re things that really happened to women in the group.
We first describe the vignette — what happened. Then we explain, for those who need the explanation, what’s wrong with it. Why is it wrong to tell somebody to smile, for example. What could you do differently? What could somebody who sees this happen do, the so-called bystander or upstander? If you witness something like that, can you help the person toward whom this problematic behavior is directed? We came up with some examples. The all-purpose thing is to say, “What did you just say?” Make them repeat it, which often helps people to realize how inappropriate it is.
This got published as an article. It became quite the subject of attention on X [formerly Twitter] and elsewhere. I guess the term going viral would apply to this. It included a large amount of real-world advice. The thing I really loved about it was that it was written by the women in the group who had experienced these things. I would characterize it as having been somewhat therapeutic. We got many messages from women in other disciplines, outside medicine, saying that this happens in oceanography, for example. I think what we described really resonated beyond the field of headache medicine and neurology.