Baby Boomers represent a rapidly growing segment of digital device users.1 As these people age, their continued, even increasing, use of the Internet can be expected.1 At the same time, many older adults (age ≥65) are engaged in intimate relationships and regard sexuality as an important part of life.2
At this intersection, the Internet is likely to play a role in geriatric sexuality and “digital intimacy”—in that older adults can adopt patterns of using online dating sites similar to what their younger counterparts engage in. There is a need among clinicians to avoid stereotypical perceptions of “ageism” and the myth of “geriatric asexuality” as a result of older patients’ continued sexual interest and their adoption of social media technologies to facilitate the development of new intimate relationships. Acknowledgement of these realities by clinicians may assist in understanding and communication regarding these important areas of patients’ lives.
Why online dating?
Contemporary social and demographic changes (eg, higher divorce rates, increased longevity, aging of Baby Boomers) have influenced patterns of dating behaviors.3 Consistent with evolutionary theory, studies on courtship behaviors show that women remain the “choosers” of partners in relationships at all ages3; in contemporary society, however, there is an increasing ratio of women to men in later life, and the degree to which this demographic change might influence older men and women who are pursuing sexual relationships is unclear.3 Older adults might be aware of these demographic realities, and may use the Internet to increase their chances of finding a relationship.
For older homosexual men and women, demographic trends also are important because fewer available partners of similar sexual orientation might be available in their immediate communities, similarly incentivizing the use of online dating sites.
Hand in hand: Risk and vulnerability
Clinicians can discuss with geriatric patients who present with questions or concerns about sexuality and risks of online dating. Although risks associated with digital dating can involve anyone, those who are recently divorced, widowed, disabled, or elderly can be targeted by predators or fraudulent schemes, and thus become victims. Recognizing those risks and the vulnerability in the geriatric patient is crucial.
Chronic illness. Age-related physiological changes do not necessarily make one vulnerable; however, chronic diseases of aging, including major neurocognitive disorders, can impair daily function and increase disability and vulnerability. The majority of online dating sites do not discriminate among users, including those with disabilities such as incapacitating neuropsychiatric disorders. The clinician may need to assess cognitive status of patients specific to their capacity to fully understand the risks of use of social media. Inability to accomplish basic mastery of computer skills or inability to maintain appropriate boundaries and safeguards in relationships initiated and maintained using the Internet may assist in this determination. Patients with other problematic Internet use (eg, excessive devotion to online shopping or online gambling) may be prone to misusing social media and dating sites as well. Patients with clear impairment of memory or poor social judgment based on a neurocognitive disorder also might not maintain proper boundaries with social media use.
Feeling alone. Older persons might feel socially isolated, and therefore may be more willing to participate in online dating to increase their chances of establishing an intimate relationship or companionship. Research has shown that increased social ties, participation in groups, contact with friends and family, and perceived social support are associated with longer survival; on the other hand, social disengagement, low participation in leisure activities, and limited social networks are associated with higher risk of major neurocognitive disorders and increased disability.4
Little is known about social vulnerability in institutional settings, but institutional living could decrease social vulnerability in important ways (eg, access to social support, networks and activities, not living alone).4 Although the literature on older adults and “digital” or “virtual” dating is limited, there are essentially no such data from within institutional settings. It is important to separately address the issue of cognitively impaired patients’ capacity to consent to sexual activity both within institutional settings and elsewhere, as it raises numerous ethical dilemmas for clinicians.
Being sexually active. Early research into online dating focused particularly on the risks of sexually transmitted infections (STIs),5 which could be acquired through failure to use condoms with a new partner.6 Older women particularly are less likely to use condoms with new sexual partners.6 Screening at-risk adults should occur regardless of age. Effective interventions are needed to increase condom use in this age group. Research in the general population has started to investigate how the use of technology can minimize the risks associated with online dating.5 The Table5,6 lists strategies that can be used to minimize some of the risks of online dating among geriatric patients, including STIs and victimization.
